Mothers Day & An open letter to my mum

 Like many things I don’t speak enough about on my blog, my mum is one of them. I found some old photo albums a few weeks ago now containing photos of my mum when she was around the same age I am now. I loved the photos and was shocked at just how similar in features we looked (minus the mullet- though you pulled it off exceptionally well, I don't think that'll be one I'll be attempting anytime soon) 
I thought it would be a really nice idea to recreate the pictures- not completely to a tee I don't have a studio for a start- but this is more an ode to them and to you mum. 

This one's for you. 

(First and foremost grab the tissues)

I want to thank you for everything you’ve ever done and still do for me. Thank you for being there for me through thick and thin-especially now when I need you most. Thank you for supporting me and never judging when I choose my own path and my future. 
I don’t thank you enough for both the big things but especially for the small, like doing my washing all those years (I know you are glad I know how to use the washing machine now) or for finishing making that cup of tea I was supposed to be making but left the tea bag stewing. 

I’m sorry I don’t always say it but know I always appreciate you and everything you do.

Thank you for letting me always choose my own path, you’ve not once told me I’m taking the wrong one when it comes to my career or my ultimate goal in life- even if I’m not very clear on what that is most of the time. You have never once stood in my way of me making my own informed choice on staying on at six-form or going to university and for not choosing to go straight into a job. It means so much to me that you’re proud of me for graduating, it makes it feel like it wasn't all for nothing, I'm glad as your daughter I made you proud for getting myself an education. 

Aside from my career or my education I can’t remember a time you told me I have to do this or that. You’ve always allowed me space to breathe and grow on my own. You’ve never had an expectation or vision for me to live up to and that is important to me.

Thank you for always having my back and being on my side, you were there for the awful beginning of secondary school. Thank you for always picking me up when I wanted to be anywhere but there, you never once told me off, you were nothing but concerned and wanted me to be okay. Just like all those panic attacks I had before going on a date, going to friends sleepovers or the worst times before I went out to nightclubs, you understood, though you weren't sure how to make it better you were there for me for that and knew how it felt, thank you for supporting me through that time. 

Thank you for sitting up with me in the early hours of the morning when I had my first heartbreak. In fact, thank you for always never being angry when I woke you in the night after being sick or because I was upset. You always got up to make sure I was okay and went back to bed safe and sound. You’ve always been there for a shoulder to cry on and god haven't we both had moments we needed it. 

Thank you for taking me to cheerleading especially on winter nights when we had to walk up that dark path to get there. It made me happy for a while, it allowed me to do the one thing I loved at the time to dance but thank you for taking me straight out when you knew it eventually made me unhappy. I'm grateful for having the best body- I know I'll never get back from my time dancing and it was worth it to see you happy to watch me dance- even my first performance in the rain that day, least it gave us a laugh.

Thank you for allowing me to bring the people home to you I chose. You never once stopped me in a relationship, unless you knew it wasn't making me happy. But you know the once I chose did make me happy, I was never scared to introduce them to you because I knew you'd be welcoming no matter what. You were always happy for me and especially now when it means the most. You've welcomed Jay with open arms, it didn't take him long to realise your mental and there's where I got it from. 
I love that you two banter with each other- a lot. I wouldn't ask for it any other way. 

Oh, and your cooking too- because I know Jay agrees with me on this one especially.
You've always been a wonderful cook, no matter where I am in the world in the future I'll always come back on a Sunday for your roast dinner, I don't know what it is but nothing compares to your mums cooking. You make a bloody good lasagne and can put together a few ingredients to make something new. You've never once made a bad meal. You gave me my cooking skills, thank you for teaching me that because who knew you need it to adult. I'm grateful I know more than how to boil an egg and I know how to bake too because of you! I'm glad after all those years I can return the favour to you and cook you a meal, or a cake to say thank you. I can't wait for the day I can invite you over to our place to make you Sunday dinner- I'd love that. 

Thank for everything you've ever bought me, even when it was questionable (looking at your N-dubz CD) Though thankfully I have better taste in music now. I always remember and loved memories of growing up listening to clubland cd's, Eurythmics and the '80s- I didn't even mind you blaring Robbie Williams from time to time. 

I have always been grateful at Christmas and on my birthdays. Never ungrateful I know it's not always been easy financially, I mean news flash who knew money doesn't grow on trees when you have children. I like to think I never demanded the things I wanted growing up, but you always did your best to give them to me- even though I never got my cleaning trolly, not sure I can quite forgive you for that. 

Sorry for all the times me and my sister wound you up, I know we were the worst most days when we were younger. When we clashed you could hear that loud like thunder. I know it gave you a headache, for sure. Yeah, sorry for that. 
You've brought me up to be the 23-year old I am today. You taught me right from wrong, to stand by my morals and stand up for what I believe in. I hope you are proud of the woman I am today because I have you to thank for that. You've taught me to always be kind, loving and polite but stern and hostile when it calls for it too. I have a lot of you in my character and most of all I thank you for giving me a sense of humour. We've had a good giggle every now and then haven't we? I mean who am I kidding we've laughed a lot. We've had a lot to laugh at quite frankly, I'm glad we can laugh through the good times and the bad. 

And we love a good chin-wag you and me I think sometimes we almost talk too much but I've always been able to talk to you about anything, I've never feared your response or your judgment. We've always been able to be open with one another. I'll never tire of a cup of tea and a good chat with my mum there's nothing else quite like it.

Thank you, and I guess this is a big one but thank you for keeping a roof over my head- things have never been the easiest. But we've been through it together. I will always be here for you no matter what- even though I know I annoy you for nagging at your from time to time but I do it for the good- please know that I always have your best interests at heart- like you have mine. 

I love you for being who you are, you're funny, caring and thoughtful thank you for giving me those qualities too. I will always be happy so long as you are happy, you are my mum and I love you dearly. 
You have so much more to come as a mum to watch me continue to grow and progress, to marry, to own my own house (I hope none of this is making you feel old) they will all be moments I hope you'll be proud to watch me do. 

You are my best friend and you've always put me first. It's hard to put into words and write about all the times I've appreciated and been grateful for you- but you know I always have even if I didn't say it, I do. Thank you for being my mum, I love you.

What's your opinion?

@paige rhianne_