Turning 21 | Life Lessons

Last week I turned 21, which so far doesn't feel much different to being 20 only that I can apply to adopt a child (too scary right now) or fly an aeroplane (learn first obviously)
In a strange sense I do kind of feel like an 'actual' adult now. I mean I always have been grown up for my age and always sort of acted older than I actually am. But to be 21 it kind of feels more grown up you know? That probably means I should stop thinking poptarts for breakfast are a good choice.


I had a lovely long weekend becides my one hell of a hangover that is. My birthday was super chilled out and really homely. Friday Night I spent with my handsome boy and my amazing friends to have a big knees up, god I'm even talking old now.
I mean your birthday's only one day but come on you may as well stretch it out as long as you can right?
So the weekend was spent once again in wonderful company. On saturday we had a movie night with all the best food to accompany it; pizza, ice-cream, sweets and chocolate. Then Sunday was spent with Jay's family and more cocktails. Safe to say I had a pretty amazing and rememerable birthday.

So really this post is very reflective, i got thinking back on my life and getting to where I am now and what i've learnt so far. I thought a lot about writing a letter to myself, but settled with what i think was the better option 21 lessons i've learnt so far in life. Call it a few hints and tips i've learnt along the way. It still is a few things I need to tell myself and keep telling myself but also and hopefully things you can take away from this post too. 

1) Once you've made the decision to remove someone toxic from your life leave them there 

You've removed them for a reason blocked them, deleted them. Maybe even done it the old fashioned way and said bye in person hey, it happens. That was your choice to remove them to make yourself feel better, why would you go back for people that made you feel bad in the first place. I know that sounds selfish but you reach a point where you go round in circles and you think oh maybe this time they'll be different, they'll act differently, they'll prove me wrong... then they don't and you left feeling like why did I let them back in?

 2) Also brings me to stop being so bloody nostalgic

People change, they aren't always going to be the same way you remember them. Memories and times you had together you may remember, they may not. Im a very nostalgic person anyway but that doesn't mean other people are. Sometimes you have to just push that feeling to the back of your mind.

3) Don't regret the things you didn't do 

I believe in things happening for a reason if you wanted to do something at the time you'd have done it. Sometimes you have to hold your hands up and say I can't do it this time maybe another time. Chances always arise again it'll never be the last chance you had to do something, if you can't do it this time don't beat yourself up about it.

4) Contradicting so, grab every opportunity that comes your way

Do things that scare you, challenge you and push you harder. Create memories and moments you only get one shot, so make it count (I'm not quoting JLS I swear)

Try and experience as much as you can as soon as you can. Chances are when you've done something once it won't scare you anymore or at least won't scare you as much.

5)You can't get everyone to like you

You'll damn well try but I guarantee you won't succeed, the sooner you realize that the better. I only wish I'd learnt that sooner in school instead of wasting my time on 'populars' that I thought I could get to like me, its just not worth the effort. Spend the time with people who do care and want to get to know you. I've found the most unexpected friends make the best ones.

Which leads me to...

6) Don't be too choosy over who you make friends with 

You can make friends in the weirdest and most unusual places with people you wouldn't necessarily speak to in the first place. Sometimes you find someone, you just click instantly and are inseparable ever after. My group of friends now, we all hold our hands up and say were not the likeliest to of became friends, but somehow it just works perfectly we all click and get along and we all have something that makes us different but things we all hold in common something that ties us together.

7) Don't try and fit in

This one is a bit like number 4 but more about pretending to like things, or pretending to be someone your not just to get people to like you or to get to places you wouldn't if you were just yourself.

Isn't worth it, really it isn't. Countless times I remember saying at school I liked a band or a TV programme or something just to fit in with those people.

I learnt when going to University that by just saying what it is you really like and who you are into pays off a lot more. Just sort of helps with the sorting hat, you know. There’s no point in living a lie

8) This is quite a bad one

If you like/want something just buy it! And I don't mean impulse buy I mean that dress you've stood and stared at for half an hour in the shop just make it yours already. You probably wouldn't have considered it if you really couldn't buy it or if you don't have the money.

Chances are you'll just regret not buying it anyway. This is the way I see it, say that dress you buy it for a party but decide to go with something different. You have a few options, you can still return it at least you had it to hand in the first place. Or you can wear it for another occasion and save money by not having to buy a new dress next time! With shoes that last excuse works perfectly, hence the saying you can never have too many shoes. Least that's the way I look at it anyway.

 9)Things will never go the way you plan them (unless your really lucky) 

I love to plan things because I'm a worrier I like to know where we're going, what were doing at what time. If something is meant to be it will work out, you don't need to plan it down to every last detail. Because in the end it (probably) doesn't even matter (oh my god Linkin Park now, I apologize its a lyrical curse)

10) It pays to be patient but sometimes a nudge in the right direction is all you need

This one is about love. I spent a long time expecting love to come my way when I least expected it. A few times it did. But if you really want someone you have to go get them. Especially if he's a really hot guy with a beard and tattoos with a heart of gold. I have to make him mine right?

11) There is no cure for anxiety but it can get easier to deal with

This is a whole separate post in itself but I've suffered from anxiety from a very young age. And it's adapted itself in many different forms. Those who suffer from it know it can pop up when least expected and in completely different ways. I don't think I've cured my anxiety but I've definitely learnt to deal with them better and gained the strength to at least push them away (sometimes)

Anxiety will never be my friend but it'll always be with me.

12) A tan looks great with everything 

This is something I learnt probably in the past few months from my best friend. I was always scared to fake tan but once I did it I can't live with out. If only I learnt this sooner before going out with my white pasty legs. You have to find the right shade to suit you. But for me it just makes me feel a lot more confident about myself and my body.

13) There’s not much a cup of tea can't solve

Shall we have a cup of tea? Its probably one of my favourite phrases.

14) Sometimes you just need your mum

I’m such homely person that being away from home I mostly always get home sick. I’m better with it than I used to be but it's still there; I call it being a typical Cancerarian.

But there are times when I've been away from my mum for a while and I just miss her to have her advice or a good old fashioned chat. I just say I need my mum.

You can always rely on her to just be there.

15) Whenever you want something you can't find it, when you don't its there

I have honestly stopped looking for things now when I'm stressed. I have this weird knowledge in my head that this object, be it a pair of socks or whatever are hiding because they know I'm looking for them. If I stop looking they'll show up. Its just the way things go.

16) No matter how beautiful that pair of heels are they're STILL going destroy your feet

Why didn't no one remind me to bring flats on my 21st, ouch!

17) Going abroad was one of the best decisions I ever made

It may also be the worst because now I hate the weather here, and found more things to pick at with where I live. But I honestly think travel makes your heart grow fonder and you get a serious case of wanderlust after the first time

18) Just because you have manners, doesn't mean other people will 

I’m a polite person and always have been but I always used to apologize for my actions. I'd say sorry for getting in other people’s way when really it was their fault. It's not to say I'm really rude now but I do acknowledge when someone hasn't got any manners or are just plain mean to people. I've become less accepting of EVERYONE for their actions and choose to say thank you to the people who are nice.

19) There’s no such thing as is this too much

Take every occasion as a chance to dress up, just go out there and boss it

 20) HELL YEAH being ginger is a good thing

This is only one thing boys will actually admit to once you've left secondary school don't worry, be patient

 21) Never worry about what other are doing, worry about yourself

You got this, follow your gut and keep doing what your doing. Comparison gets you nowhere if anything it gets you down

Hope you enjoyed that post! Make sure you look out for my Q&A on youtube coming soon I did 21 Question for my birthday!

And until next time take care!